If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
