I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
