I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
