I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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