Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
