I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
