when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
