my phone needs a breathalizer
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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