What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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