shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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