this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize