im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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