Buhtt sex?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I want to fling myself into the sun
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
