So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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