People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So many bounce houses so little time
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
