oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
