That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
