Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
