she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
