There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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