Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
