You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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