I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
did i walk over a car last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
