He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
