Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize