Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
