I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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