i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She needs sedatives and a leash
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
