woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Bring me that man meat
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
