Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
