I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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