...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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