I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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