That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
