Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I checked into jail on foursquare
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
this hospital has no fireball
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
