I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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