She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
