I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize