we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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