the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
