Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
