Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize