worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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