its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
