For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
