that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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