Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
