she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
pop tarts are not kleenex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize