Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
