One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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