Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
