what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
