a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
