Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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