The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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