Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
