My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
