Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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