Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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