We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
